Quick, grab the blowtorch!

It's come to my attention that there are "several" microwaves sitting unused in my basement. It's also come to my attention that if we had a blowtorch available, we could go into the business of melting beer bottles.



To some this may seem unsafe, but with an extension cord I feel that it's quite feasible to attempt this outside on say, a front porch, with minimal oh-my-god-the-house-is-burning risk. Plus, let's weigh the risks vs. the benefits here: near infinitesimal chance of burning down a house vs. insanely hot glowy melting beer bottles - it's a hands down winner before we even bring plasma outbreaks to the table.

So, somebody get a blowtorch, and I'll get together a good story for the roommates when one of their microwaves is broken and full of molten glass out on the front porch.