Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Babes in Greeceland

Recently I visited Greece with my family and girlfriend, visiting Athens and the island Santorini. And the legends are true, it's impossible to go anywhere without stumbling into some killer babes! Let me get right down to business with this swift photo recap of some of the hot spots!

The Roman Agora!!

The National Gardens!!

A picturesque fountain in downtown Athens!!

And the great Oracle at Delphi!!

Holy moly! And I got Joe a present at somepoint, along with missing much of the Stanley Cup. But the booty pics were totally worth it.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Trip to Dave's DinoPark

Dave Hora: Welcome! Welcome to my recently opened DinoPark!

Yes, this is the second in Hora Industries long line of successful DinoParks.

What happened to the other one you say? Well, I wasn't aware that an expensive breed such as Albertosaurus required such delicacies as many tons of meat a week. Apparently the bank doesn't offer loans within 30 seconds of starting a new park.

Well, let's start this game out with a safe Hypsilophodon.

I was out scouting O'Hallaron Park and that looked like a smart approach to such a complicated enterprise such as dino parks. With proper advertising, tour guides, maintenance, and a strong focus on the future, I'm sure I will be able to expand!

A town auction? Well, a fiscal park owner such as myself can't just throw around money at one of those! But I'll go to see the hubub from the local knickerbockers.

HOLY FUCKING CRAP! I saw that shit in Jurassic Park! Dude we have got to get one of those fuckers! Fuck O'Hallaron! He's gonna be scrubbing my bathrooms after my T-fucking-rex chows down on his stupid Coelophy-whatever.

So let's just sell the stupid plant eater, get rid of all these so called "intangible assets"...

Fuck yeah! Those other dinos will just be fillers and I'll feed them to the T-Rex if shit goes sour.

But what's the deal? Where are the guests??

I need advertising! Radio! TV! Somebody dip into the slush fund! Gotta get to the bank!


Dude this game sucks. Fuck that. And fuck you assholes, who the hell played this over Gizmos and Gadgets in grade school anyways. My mouse doesn't even work here, and I gotta make room for the new Justice mixtape. Suck it.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

You Can't Be Serious

Recently a few of the Pong Night Diaries fellows and I we're hanging out watching some good ole' fashioned television. Flipping aimlessly through the channels I discovered a cinematic treasure, a film so significant it shaped the very being of my soul, Ghost. Joe and I began to partake in some playful banter of how fucking studly Patrick Swayze is. In the midst of our conversation Dave said something that shook me to the very core. Something that made me lose all belief in humanity, it made me lose faith in myself. Dave had the nerve to ask " Who is Patrick Swayze?" As soon as the last syllable of that question left his tongue 4 babies spontaneously combusted, a nun cried, and a baby panda was ruthlessly clubbed by a baby seal. If that wasn't enough the question was promptly followed by "Is it that guy?" While uttering the phrase he was pointing to the guy in Ghost who has a gheri curl, I began to vomit like a rocket ship. Feeling sun burnt from the sheer ignorance coming from Dave, I was prompted to educated him and blog community on the impact of the Swayzenator. Let's start with the basics.

This was my first step in educating Dave about Swayzee and his Don Magic Juan like pimp hand. I mean come on Demi Moore had to been working on that vase for a good minute. Patrick Swayze wakes up after he passed out like a jagoff ready to get some pre Ashton Kutcher booty. Sticks his hand in it and ruins the fucking vase like Michael Bay ruins anything he touches. Then he has the nerve to laugh it off. If I did the same thing Demi Moore would of GI Janed my ass, but Patrick Swayze gets to drill for oil? You have to respect him, plus he's a dream boat to boot.

Now I still don't feel this is significant enough to fully educate Dave on the Swayze effect. Frankly there isn't enough time in his life or mine to fully grasp the chizzled jaw and sexy abs that is such a man. Over the summer I plan on creating an all Swayze Agenda. We will watch all the classics, Dirty Dancing, both Red and Steel Dawn, Dirty Dancing 2, and my favorite Point Break. Hopefully after all that Dave will realize why he is the wind beneath my proverbial blog wings. Stay tuned for more as I continue to educate on the impact this man has.