Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Trip to Dave's DinoPark

Dave Hora: Welcome! Welcome to my recently opened DinoPark!

Yes, this is the second in Hora Industries long line of successful DinoParks.

What happened to the other one you say? Well, I wasn't aware that an expensive breed such as Albertosaurus required such delicacies as many tons of meat a week. Apparently the bank doesn't offer loans within 30 seconds of starting a new park.

Well, let's start this game out with a safe Hypsilophodon.

I was out scouting O'Hallaron Park and that looked like a smart approach to such a complicated enterprise such as dino parks. With proper advertising, tour guides, maintenance, and a strong focus on the future, I'm sure I will be able to expand!

A town auction? Well, a fiscal park owner such as myself can't just throw around money at one of those! But I'll go to see the hubub from the local knickerbockers.

HOLY FUCKING CRAP! I saw that shit in Jurassic Park! Dude we have got to get one of those fuckers! Fuck O'Hallaron! He's gonna be scrubbing my bathrooms after my T-fucking-rex chows down on his stupid Coelophy-whatever.

So let's just sell the stupid plant eater, get rid of all these so called "intangible assets"...

Fuck yeah! Those other dinos will just be fillers and I'll feed them to the T-Rex if shit goes sour.

But what's the deal? Where are the guests??

I need advertising! Radio! TV! Somebody dip into the slush fund! Gotta get to the bank!


Dude this game sucks. Fuck that. And fuck you assholes, who the hell played this over Gizmos and Gadgets in grade school anyways. My mouse doesn't even work here, and I gotta make room for the new Justice mixtape. Suck it.

1 comment:

  1. Slander. I don't have any Justice mixtapes.

    Also, Gizmos & Gadgets wasn't my thing.
    Midnight Rescue, man.