Breaking News: Young Black Male Evades Campus Police, Authorities Baffled By "Super Speed"

So as I'm walking to class at about noon this morning this dude who just looked like a student in basketball gear goes flying by me as I exit Wean. Seconds later I hear a CMU bike cop scream "STOP THAT MAN!!" And a guy who looked like he was from food services is power walking to catch the black kid and the bike cop is already a football field behind after starting within 20 feet. This kid was not that fast, although he was running for his life. It was more of us having the slowest cops I have ever seen in my life. I think the university should seriously consider fast scooters or maybe rocket skates to further insure my protection. The kid was caught later, I believe, as there was a big hulaballoo outside my class soon after where tons of people were watching and many cops were walking by.